DjembeQueen's Blogger Blog

The Life & Times of DjembeQueen as I start another Blogging expedition This blog is more of the web as I come across websites & online articles which I like & want others to know about with some comments of my own

Monday, June 25, 2007

FW: Charlyne Cares - June 26

Wanted to pass this on because there seems to be so many who are in this spiritual battle & wanting to simply give up rather than turning to God in prayers & doing the battle that needs to be done & making those changes that God requires of them

-----Original Message-----
From: [] On Behalf Of
Sent: Monday, June 25, 2007 3:12 PM
Subject: Charlyne Cares - June 26

Each Tuesday Bob shares his thoughts almost 20 years, (19 years, 11
months, 11 days to be exact), after remarriage to Charlyne following
their divorce. Today he writes about the restoration process that
each healed marriage experiences.
- - - - -


From my personal experience, and from ministry experience, I suspect
that most prodigals who have returned home, and have stayed home to
see their marriage restored, have done so after a few false starts.
The pull toward home by the Holy Spirit is so strong, but then the
Enemy tugs us back in the opposite direction.

For the sake of illustration, at times, it is much like two boys
playing tug of war on the playground. Just when one appears to be
winning, the second gives a tremendous tug on the rope that once
again brings things back like they were, but please do not think
that your God is in a battle of power with Satan. It is your spouse
on one end of the rope, and the Enemy on the other. Your marriage is
in the center for the winner to claim.

We were divorced. I had been offered a job out of town. I had quit
my job locally, and given notice that I was breaking the lease on my
efficiency apartment. Suddenly the out of town offer was in
question.  I was to be told in a few days if the offer was still
open. I faced being unemployed, with no place to live. My first
thought when I hung up that doubtful phone call was, "If this all
falls through, I will move home."

Why did I consider going home? Because my wife had told me that the
door at home was always open for me, regardless of the
circumstances, and at any time. I called her and explained my
dilemma, but even before calling, I was confident of what her reply
would be, because she had told me, not only in words, but in her
actions. Does your prodigal know they are welcomed back at home? If
so, does your walk match your talk?

One of the most discouraging areas of day-to-day ministry work is
dealing with people who are dabbling with standing. It is extremely
frustrating to have a stander report:

"Yes, I am standing for my marriage, but I also go to divorce
recovery because it helps my self-esteem. The reason I am so active
in the Singles Ministry at church is to be around other people. I do
go out, but it is really not dating. He/she is also standing and
understands. I have failed morally, but only a couple of times, and
besides, God understands my needs. He doesn't want me to be
miserable. I am so busy that I had to unsubscribe from 'Charlyne
Cares' messages. They were filling my mailbox. I try to remember to
pray on the way to work, unless there is something good on the
radio. I stopped praying for my prodigal, though, and am just
letting God work.

"My wedding bands? I don't wear them because God might send someone
into my life and they would think I am married and not approach me.
I think I know where my rings are, though, for when my spouse comes
home. There will be time to find them, because I have made a list,
based on what everyone has told me my spouse must do before I can
allow them in the house again.

"You asked about the last scripture verse that God gave me. He
doesn't talk to me. I am standing, but, if my 'ex' has a baby or
marries that other person I am released, because of some scripture
that I can't remember. Besides everyone in the Internet chat room
told me to find someone else, but God is going to restore my
marriage soon, because I gave Him a deadline."

Thankfully, this did not all come from the same individual, or I
might have had stroke number seven, and Charlyne could have had
something. This is a composite of what we are hearing every day,
from men and women claiming to be "standers."

If I have offended you, as a stander, by one of those comments, I
make no apology. Our prodigal men and women are going to Hell,
living in sin and running from Christ, while some make a game of
standing with God and praying for their mate's salvation.

The Lord sends prodigals home to standing spouses who are sold out
to Him, and who are ready to welcome a hurting wounded prodigal
home, in any condition, and under any circumstances.

The false start toward home will come for your spouse. When it does,
you must always be prepared to intensify your praying, your
spiritual warfare, your time with the Lord, and your stand with Him.

In my false start, the Enemy pulled his end of the rope, and the job
came through. The other person was off to help me move. Did Charlyne
give up over all this? You know the rest of the story.

I can assure you that after that incident, when I knew I was
welcomed at home, I began to have false starts in rapid-fire
succession, until the day I obeyed what the Holy Spirit had been
telling me to do for two years.

Your spouse can be manipulated back home, but that is not God's
plan. If you do, this is not a false start; it is a stall, and you
know what happens to airplanes that stall--they crash. The Lord
wants to change you first, and then your mate, rebuilding your
marriage on the solid rock of Jesus Christ.

If your prodigal is making false starts toward home, and then
backing out or disappearing, stand strong and rejoice because God is
at work in the life of your resistant mate.

  "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right
  there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I
  see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war
  against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of
  sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will
  rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus
  Christ our Lord!..." Romans 7:21-25

Thankful to be home,
Bob Steinkamp,
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.®
Post Office Box 10548
Pompano Beach, FL 33061 USA (Bookstore)

P.S. Charlyne has done daily five minute radio programs for three and
a half years.  Tuesday's program, "When Blessings Are Lost" is one of
my favorites out of 800 "God Heals Hurting Marriages" programs-

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  • At 7/09/2010 08:17:00 AM, Blogger Faith said…

    Thank you for being so direct in how to stand for our loved one's.
    I have been through just about all you can think of, however my love has grown so much stronger for the Lord and Husband as while I am a stander Jesus is standing for My marriage and children so we can have on earth as it is in Heaven.
    Thank you our Father in heaven for never giving up on us as we will not give up on our loved ones.



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